How to Discuss Needs vs. Wants with Kids

Neale Godfrey is the financial voice for women and multi-generations and a world-renowned speaker and author, who has inspired millions through her work. She motivates, trains, educates, and frankly, entertains by delivering her core message: Empower yourself to take control of your financial life.
Knowing the difference between needs and wants is important for children as they learn how to make decisions about what is most important. For parents, guiding kids through the importance of nutritious food versus simply craving unhealthy snacks can be a challenge. In this article, we’ll discuss practical ways to get your children involved in conversations about the difference between needs and wants. This will help them make well-informed choices about healthy food and other important decisions.
Key Takeaways:
Definition of Needs
Needs refer to essential items required for survival and well-being, such as nutritious food, water, shelter, clothing and survival essentials, and emotional support.
In the U.S., about 14% of families struggle to meet these basic needs, highlighting a pressing issue.
For example, many people experience a lack of access to enough food. According to Feeding America, programs like community organizations, food banks, and SNAP offer needed help to combat hunger (Hunger in America: Causes, Stats, and How to Help).
Access to clean water remains critical; over two million Americans lack reliable service. Stable housing is important; groups like Habitat for Humanity work to give people homes they can afford.
It’s important to know and meet these needs to make the community healthier and stronger.
Definition of Wants
Wants are extra desires that improve life, like new toys, gadgets, or eating out, which can often change depending on flexible changes in financial plans.
Marketing and psychology often tap into our wants by creating emotional connections through advertising. A toy commercial might feature children happily playing together, suggesting that purchasing the toy can improve social interactions. According to an overview on consumer psychology by ScienceDirect, understanding these emotional triggers can significantly enhance marketing strategies.
To understand your own desires, try the ‘Five Whys’ method: ask yourself why you want something and continue asking why until you find the basic need. This method can help you distinguish between actual needs and fleeting desires.
By learning these differences, you can make better choices about your money.
Why It’s Important to Discuss
Talking about the difference between needs and wants helps children set healthy boundaries and focuses on their education on needs and money management. For more on this topic, explore our comprehensive guide on how children can understand the difference between needs and wants.
Building Financial Literacy
Teaching children the difference between needs and wants helps them learn important money skills, preparing them to handle finances well when they grow up.
Parents can begin these important talks by noticing ordinary situations. For example, during grocery shopping, ask children to distinguish between items they need, like milk, and those they want, like snacks.
Another effective method is to create a budgeting game, where kids allocate a set amount of play money into ‘need’ and ‘want’ categories. Encourage them to set savings goals for a desired toy or activity, reinforcing the concept of prioritizing needs over wants.
For a deeper understanding of these strategies, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau provides youth financial education resources that offer additional insights into effective teaching methods. Additionally, parents can explore [how to teach kids budgeting effectively](https://breadbox.money/kids-finance-education-platform/financial-literacy/teach-kids-budgeting-tips/) with practical tips and techniques.
This practical method helps children learn and develop responsible habits from an early age.
Encouraging Critical Thinking
Talking with children about the difference between needs and wants helps them think carefully and make decisions, skills they will use as adults.
To improve these talks, involve children in daily activities such as making a grocery list and going to the store. Give them a small budget and allow them to choose what to buy, discussing the difference between items based on price and value.
Another effective approach is to create a ‘wants vs. needs’ chart where they categorize various items from their lives. This encourages them to critically evaluate their choices and understand value, forging a mindset that appreciates thoughtful spending.
Age-Appropriate Approaches
Discussing needs and desires in ways that suit different age groups helps everyone in the family understand better and encourages helpful conversations. To delve deeper into methods for engaging kids in meaningful financial discussions, our guide on how allowances teach kids financial responsibility offers valuable insights.
Discussing with Toddlers
When talking about needs and wants with toddlers, use simple words and familiar examples, like food and toys, to help them understand.
Engage toddlers through play by incorporating role-playing scenarios. For instance, set up a “grocery store” with fake food items. Ask your child to choose what to buy (needs like fruits) versus what they want (like cookies).
Storytelling works well too; read books like ‘The Tiny Seed’ by Eric Carle or ‘Need versus Want’ by a local author, which illustrate these concepts through engaging narratives. By combining play and storytelling, toddlers can grasp the distinction more easily while having fun.
Engaging with Preschoolers
Preschool children can learn about needs and wants through activities and discussions that relate to their everyday experiences.
One effective method is the sorting game, where children categorize items into two groups: needs (like food, water, and shelter) and wants (such as toys and candy).
Books with characters making choices, such as “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” can help illustrate these concepts.
Involving them in a pretend play activity, such as setting up a make-believe store, helps them choose what to purchase with a limited budget, teaching them how to tell the difference between needs and wants.
Communicating with School-Aged Children
Children in school can learn a lot from detailed talks about money priorities. This helps them see how their decisions impact the family’s budget.
- Begin the discussion by asking, “Which do you believe is more important: saving money for a large toy or seeing a movie this month?” This question presents choices and requires thinking, creating opportunities to learn about setting financial goals.
- You can also set up a family budget exercise together: list your family’s monthly income and expenses, then allocate funds for essentials like groceries and utilities.
- Ask children how they would like to spend leftover money on fun activities. This helps them learn how to plan and choose wisely.
Conversations with Teenagers
Teenagers need to learn how to manage money, so it’s important to talk to them about the difference between needs and wants.
Start by discussing real-life scenarios, such as grocery shopping or planning a family outing. Involve them in setting a budget, encouraging them to allocate funds for essentials and discretionary spending.
Tools like Mint or YNAB (You Need A Budget) can help track expenses and visualize their budgets. Recommend websites like Khan Academy or Investopedia for self-directed financial literacy exploration.
By incorporating their interests, such as saving for a video game or concert, discussions become more relatable and meaningful.
Practical Strategies for Discussion
Using practical strategies can make conversations about needs and wants interesting and meaningful for children of all ages.
Using Real-Life Examples
Incorporating real-life examples from family experiences can make discussions about needs and wants more tangible and impactful for children.
For instance, parents can share stories about a time they opted for a family vacation instead of new gadgets, highlighting the importance of experiences over material possessions.
They might talk about how they saved money for many months and made meaningful memories, focusing on the idea of needs compared to desires. Talking about these topics helps children express their values and how they make decisions.
Introducing simple budgeting exercises where children allocate a mock allowance can further reinforce these concepts, allowing them to experience trade-offs firsthand.
Incorporating Games and Activities
Games and activities can help kids understand the difference between needs and wants, while making learning fun.
To bring this lesson to life, consider engaging your children in a shopping simulation activity. For instance, set up a mini grocery store at home using items from your pantry.
Give each child a fictional budget and let them choose between various items, discussing why they consider some choices as needs versus wants.
Alternatively, try a budgeting challenge where each child receives a set amount and must plan their week’s meals accordingly.
Printable resources for these activities can be found on sites like Teachers Pay Teachers and Education.com, offering a variety of ready-made games that reinforce these concepts.
Role-Playing Scenarios
Role-playing games allow children to try making decisions in a protected environment, teaching them how to distinguish between necessities and desires.
To set up these scenarios, parents can create situations such as a grocery store visit, where kids decide between healthy options and treats.
Another example could be a toy store, helping them choose between what they want versus what they need. Using props like toy cash registers can increase involvement.
This practical approach promotes careful thinking, improves empathy, and aids in problem-solving, aligning with family values.
It encourages talks about values and priorities, helping children understand their choices and grow confident in making decisions daily.
Encouraging Open Dialogue
Creating a space where kids feel safe to talk helps them share their ideas and emotions about what they need and want without worrying about being judged, promoting emotional support.
Creating a Safe Space for Conversation
Establishing a safe space for financial discussions allows children to feel valued and understood, which is essential for effective communication.
To create this environment, begin by truly listening to others. Give your child your full attention, maintaining eye contact and acknowledging their feelings with affirmations like, “I understand how you feel.”
Validate their concerns by using age-appropriate language that encourages questions. For instance, you could say, “It’s okay to be worried about money; many adults feel this way too.”
Think about using tools like budgeting apps or basic charts to show financial ideas. These can make the topic interesting and easy for your child to understand.
Hearing Their Views and Choosing Wisely
Listening closely to what children think about needs and wants helps them learn respect, make healthy choices, and understand financial ideas better.
To practice active listening, parents can employ specific techniques that encourage kids’ choices.
- To confirm you understood your child, repeat their words back to them, such as: “You believe saving money for a new toy is more important than buying candy daily?”
- Next, ask open-ended questions such as “What do you think would be the best way to save for that toy?” This encourages deeper thought and discussion.
Maintaining eye contact and using nods or verbal affirmations signals your engagement, reinforcing their thoughts and feelings. These methods build trust and make financial ideas clearer.
Tools and Resources for Raising Families
Using tools and resources can greatly improve conversations about needs versus wants and help families better understand financial topics. A hidden gem in our resources is the Financial Education Resources: Benefits for Families, which provides valuable insights into enhancing family financial discussions.
Books and Literature on Needs vs. Wants
Many books can help kids understand the difference between needs and wants while teaching them how to manage money and be responsible with finances.
One great example is ‘When Sophie Gets Angry-Really, Really Angry’ by Molly Bang, aimed at ages 4-8. It illustrates emotional responses without overspending.
Another excellent title is ‘The Berenstain Bears’ Trouble with Money’ by Stan and Jan Berenstain, suitable for ages 5-9, which teaches children about saving and spending wisely, a key aspect of financial responsibility.
‘The Penny Pot’ by Loreen Leedy, aimed at children ages 5-8, demonstrates how little sums can accumulate, highlighting the value of managing money.
These interesting stories can start important discussions about money ideas with young readers.
Online Resources and Activities
Online resources offer interactive activities that can engage children in learning about needs versus wants in a fun and impactful way.
Many websites offer free games and activities designed to help children learn about managing money. For example, the National Endowment for Financial Education offers resources at nefe.org, while Jump$tart provides engaging activities at jumpstart.org. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has a wealth of materials focusing on budgeting and saving at consumerfinance.gov.
These platforms improve learning and promote active involvement, which helps students remember lessons better. By using these resources, educators and parents can make learning fun and interesting for children.
Common Challenges and Solutions
Parents might find it hard to talk about important topics like needs and wants because of usual challenges.
Dealing with Resistance and Prioritizing Needs
Children may resist discussions about needs versus wants, requiring parents to adopt thoughtful strategies to encourage engagement.
One effective approach is to use humor during conversations. For example, create fun situations where a child decides between a toy or candy, encouraging them to think about their choices.
Stories about relatable experiences, like choosing a game instead of a jacket, can help people connect and relate to each other. Using visual aids, such as charts or drawings, can illustrate the difference clearly.
Many parents think it’s useful to engage in make-believe games with their children. This allows children to practice decision-making while enjoying themselves. This involves them and strengthens their grasp.
Managing Emotional Responses with Help from Big Bird and Elmo
Financial discussions can evoke strong emotional responses; managing these is key to maintaining productive conversations about needs and wants.
To handle these emotional situations, think about trying different approaches, perhaps even imagining what Abby Cadabby or Grover might do.
- First, take scheduled breaks if the conversation becomes heated; this can help de-escalate tensions. Techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness can refocus the mind.
- For example, many parenting experts recommend the ‘Pause and Process’ method, where individuals step away for a few minutes to calm down before re-engaging. Listening carefully and acknowledging each other’s emotions during the conversation encourages respectful communication.
Using these methods increases the likelihood of a positive discussion, inspired by characters like Mo Willems’ creations.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the key differences between needs and wants?
Needs are things that are necessary for survival, such as food, shelter, and clothing. Wants are things that are not essential for survival but can make life more enjoyable or comfortable.
How can I explain the concept of needs and wants to my kids?
You can explain to your kids that needs are things we have to have, while wants are things we would like to have. It’s important to prioritize needs over wants to make sure we have the essentials.
Why is it important to discuss needs and wants with kids?
Talking to kids about what they need and want can teach them about the worth of money and why it is important to make careful decisions. It can also help them learn to differentiate between necessary and unnecessary expenses.
How can I encourage my kids to identify their needs and wants, like on National Teach Children to Save Day?
You can encourage your kids to think about what they truly need by asking them questions and discussing different scenarios. For example, “Do you really need another toy or do you already have enough?” or “Do you need new clothes or can you make do with what you have?”
How can I teach my kids to prioritize their needs over their wants?
One way to teach kids to prioritize their needs over their wants is by setting a budget and discussing the importance of saving for the things they truly need. You can include them in the process of deciding what to buy, allowing them to understand compromises and make thoughtful decisions.
What are some tips for discussing needs and wants with kids of different ages?
For younger kids, you can use visuals or role-playing to help them understand the concepts. To help older kids learn about financial responsibility, include them in family budgeting and decision-making. It’s important to tailor the discussion to their age and maturity level.

Neale Godfrey is the financial voice for women and multi-generations and a world-renowned speaker and author, who has inspired millions through her work. She motivates, trains, educates, and frankly, entertains by delivering her core message: Empower yourself to take control of your financial life.